Melinda Gates describes moment she told ‘upset’ Bill she wanted a divorce — and the panic attacks that followed

Melinda Gates vividly remembers telling Bill Gates she wanted to separate.

The philanthropist writes in her forthcoming book, “The Next Day,” that she invited the Microsoft co-founder to New Mexico in February 2020 on a trip she originally planned to take alone.

Upon arrival, Melinda found out that the rental home was only available because the couple who lived there had broken up.

Bill Gates and Melinda Gates in 2018

Melinda Gates recalled the moment she told Bill Gates she wished to separate. Getty Images for Robin Hood

Melinda Gates on the cover of People Magazine

The philanthropist covers this week’s issue of People. People

Although she and Bill tried to treat it “like any other vacation,” on the last night of the trip, Melinda told her husband she wanted to start living apart.

At the time, their youngest daughter, Phoebe, was a senior in high school, so Melinda proposed staying in their Seattle home with the teen until she finished school.

“It was one of the scariest conversations I’d have had,” she writes in an excerpt obtained by People on Wednesday, adding that the computer programmer was “sad and upset” but also “understanding and respectful.” 

Melinda Gates in 2023

Melinda told Bill she wanted to start living separately in 2020. Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

Bill gates and Melinda Gates in 2018

“It was one of the scariest conversations I’d have had,” she writes in her forthcoming book, “The Next Day.” Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images

When the couple returned home, they continued putting on a united front in support of their Gates Foundation. However, Melinda decided it was time to walk away from her 27-year marriage for good.

That summer, the Gateses shared a long and occasionally “tender” chat when Melinda told Bill she wanted a divorce.

“Bill has a reputation for being one of the toughest negotiators in the world,” she writes, reflecting on how hard the coming months would be.

Melinda, 60, also reveals she “started having panic attacks.”

Bill Gates and Melinda Gates

Later that year, Melinda told Bill she wanted a divorce. Getty Images for Robin Hood

Melinda Gates in 2024

She “started having panic attacks” after. GC Images

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Though the process of finalizing their divorce was “grueling” and long, she writes that everything moved quickly once they reached an agreement.

In May 2021, Bill and Melinda released a joint statement announcing they were divorcing.

The following year, the businesswoman revealed that her ex’s friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein played a role in their split.

In a statement to CBS, the billionaire tech giant, 69, called his relationship with Epstein, who died by suicide in jail in August 2019 while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges, a “mistake.”

Bill Gates in 2024

The businesswoman revealed in 2022 that Bill’s friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein played a role in their split. REUTERS

Bill Gates and Melinda Gates in 2025

Melinda also said she could no longer trust her husband after working through an alleged affair he had with a Microsoft employee. MediaPunch / BACKGRID

Melinda Gates and Bill Gates with their 3 kids

The exes share kids Jennifer, 28, Rory, 25, and Phoebe, 22. melindafrenchgates/Instagram

Melinda also said she could no longer trust Bill after working through an alleged affair he had with a Microsoft employee.

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