Jerry Seinfeld Severs Ties With ABC In Dramatic Exit: “I’m Not Going Down With A Sinking Ship”

Jerry Seinfeld has reportedly cut all ties with ABC after witnessing what he calls “The most shameful debate in US history.”

“I’m never working there again,” said the whiny little douchebag, “They have no respect for the news. How dare they fact-check Trump live not Kamala? How is that fair?”

We asked ALLOD Politicalisticator Tara Newhole what she thought and she landed squarely on the side of fictional Jerry Seinfeld:

“If the story were true, then Jerry would be in the right. ABC would be a company of losers who lost all credibility for having moderators willing to do what Jake Tapper wasn’t. Since that’s not exactly accurate, or even a little bit close to reality, we’d have to side with ABC.”

ABC’s VP of Production and Question Answering, Joe Barron, said he concurs with Newhole. “We’d be disgusted with us, too, if the nutbag conspiracies and excuses for their cult leader were real. Thankfully, there are 37 million delusional Americans, so we have an actual reason to say ‘Don’t blame all of us’ when people snicker at us abroad.”

It sounds a lot like he was refusing to answer to this reporter, patriots, but since none of this happened on this plane of existence, I’m gonna be the bigger man and let it go.

Related Posts

BREAKING: Riley Gaines Draws a Line in the Sand, Vows to Bring Down Keith Olbermann

In a whirlwind of social media spats and swimming showdowns, former MSNBC and ESPN host Keith Olbermann found himself embroiled in an unexpected feud with none other than Riley Gaines,…

Read more

BREAKING: ABC’s Head Drops Bombshell: ‘The View Is The Worst Show on TV, It’s Getting Canceled Soon!’

Ah, “The View”. The talk show that has given us everything from heated political debates to introspective views on society and culture. And if by ‘everything’ we mean ‘headaches’, then…

Read more

BREAKING: Oliver Anthony Rejects $2 Million Super Bowl Anthem Deal, Declares “I Stand For My Country, Not The Money”

In a surprising turn of events, country music sensation Oliver Anthony has turned down a lucrative $2 million offer to perform the national anthem at the Super Bowl, leaving fans…

Read more

BREAKING: Candace Owens Slams Taylor Swift, Demands NFL Ban Her Over “Woke” Agenda

In a bold and controversial move, political commentator Candace Owens has publicly criticized pop superstar Taylor Swift, calling for the NFL to take action against the singer due to her…

Read more

BREAKING: Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid Stuns NFL – Kicks Top Players Off Team for Kneeling During Anthem

Andy Reid, known for his no-nonsense approach to coaching and deep respect for the game of football, took a stand that many view as a testament to his unwavering principles….

Read more

BREAKING: Kid Rock Takes a Stand – Bans Bud Light From All His Concerts Amid Growing Boycott

Amidst the chorus of criticism and boycotts against Bud Light, American singer-songwriter Kid Rock has made a bold move. In a decisive act of defiance against what he describes as…

Read more

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *